*Since this is our family journal I decided to write about this experience.

Sometimes life is such a roller coaster ride. That is the best way I can describe what we've been through the last couple months. I was so hoping to post an announcement on our blog that we would be having baby number three this summer! We were happily surprised to find out that we were expecting again the week before Thanksgiving. I took a pregnancy test and we went to the Dr and sure enough there was a baby coming! Considering how unplanned it was I was surprised and happy at how thrilled I was for another baby. Three little ones under three seemed so overwhelming! We hadn't planned to get pregnant as soon as we did (we wanted to wait a couple years), but I knew it was what the Lord wanted for us as soon as we learned the news. I was at peace and excited. I thought I was experiencing morning sickness symptoms and since I knew I would need help with the boys and since we had already had two very healthy pregnancies we figured we'd let the cat out of the bag and make the announcement to family and friends Thanksgiving Day. (Soon after we made the announcement I realized I was just plain old sick and that it wasn't morning sickness! Oops! Live and learn I guess)
Christmas Eve, I began to show signs that something might be wrong. I shared my concerns with Trent but we kept our worries under wraps till the Christmas weekend was over. I went to the Dr Tuesday afternoon where our concerns were confirmed and we learned that we had in fact lost the baby.
It's been a long road and although I am at peace with all that has happened (excepting whole heartily this baby that we were going to be blessed with only to loose it a few weeks later) I have had a lot of thoughts and emotions through this loss. I sometimes feel silly for feeling the way I do. Compared to what others have lost, this probably seems like nothing. I have come to terms with the loss and have "moved on" I guess. Each day is different and I know I'll never be the same (in a good way). I still know that this is what my Heavenly Father wanted for us. I know it. It hasn't been all bad. We've had some sweet experiences. Trent and I have been brought even closer together through this and we've been encircled in the love of my family and close friends. I don't want to speak for Trent and what he's felt about all of this but I do know that I've been his number one concern and he's been a rock for me to lean on.
I've never known a loss like this. To have something for such a short time only to loose it shouldn't be so devastating. I know we will have more children. And I know that life will still throw us trials, but I'm thankful to know that I can make it through with the love of my Heavenly Father and the people he's blessed my life with. I'm thankful for Eternal Families. I love my two little boys with ALL of my heart. I've never experienced a love like the love I feel for them. They've made this experience sweet in their own special way. Our family has been brought closer together and we appreciate more than ever before what we have and for that alone I am grateful for this experience. Thank you to everyone who have shared their love and concern for us! Life is moving forward. And even though we don't know what is in store for us, we are excited for what the future will bring.